After a brief introduction on why to even be concerned about dialog at all, I will continue with my study notes, that are in the form of citations. They will prepare us for a deeper understanding of inner dialogue. Perhaps this form will lead to benefits related to the deepening of connection between internal and external dialogue, and also to clarify how to work with these dialogs themselves. How such a conscious dialog looks, and what its features are, are included in brief points here – Open dialog involves an attitude of vulnerability, where vigilant dealing is necessary, a conscious approach to both the inner and outer world, to myself and to others.
What exactly is dialogue and why should we even pay attention to it?
It is a kind of connection with oneself, with a partner, with anyone living or non-living, including the planet and life. It is a connection in the sense of establishing relationships that we cannot avoid even if we wanted. How we communicate with these entities affects our way of life. At least two subjects are needed for any dialogue, whether it is an internal dialogue or a dialogue with another person. There is always some kind of interaction. In order to truly communicate with others, we need to be aware of our inner dialogue. If one is in harmony with oneself, one does not need to provoke conflict or be a part of it. Then all parts of the psyche have their place. (struktura psyché). This is probably the only way so that dialogue between two people is not a struggle – when both participants are in harmony with themselves. Where there is no struggle, there is listening, and only then can meaningful energy flow. Conscious dialogue inspires, heals, transforms, teaches, and opens the eyes. In general its energy is immeasurable, enriching, and sometimes hurtful, but always meaningful! This energy flows between the known and the unknown. This means being open to what I don’t know, and admitting my ignorance. Hereby dialog transforms and inspires.
Notes in the form of citations
“I enjoy communication until it is a dialogue, or at least it is a possibility of dialogue, but then there are situations where there is no dialogue. Then I either resign or I go into conflict. Conflict is not bad, because I give trust to the person that the conflict can be useful, but this conflict should lead to learning at the end. Every human conflict is an initiated type of dialogue and it is a question of what form the dialogue continues on.”1
“The Buddha says that we should take care of our thoughts, because from thoughts are born words, from words are born deeds, from deeds are born habits and habits form our destiny.”2
(inner dialog) “It’s about learning not to run any programs that lead to inactivity; do not pay attention to these kind of programs. I know that when I start to, they take my energy. I need to observe what works best for me.”3
“The level of inner dialogue is essentially connected to the state of our consciousness. It’s like a growing tree. As long as we are among all the other trees, we cannot see more than how much we have grown collectively. Only when we grow more, we see more.”4
“Internal dialogue is determined by our own consciousness – who speaks and who listens. When the answers come from within, those are the messages I understand best.”5
“The third solution is always sought. The one that is not predetermined. To do this, I need to clarify my position, listen to the other party’s position and work together to find the third solution. This is creation. That’s why I need that win win state. I feel better and he or she feels better as well.”6
“Even a millimetre of common is far more than a kilometre individually.”7
(inner dialog – childish vs adult attitude) “It’s a fight of the infantile part, if it prevails, then of course it’s a sleeping robot. But then, fortunately, a special connection emerges from the dialogue between this infantile and the god, which we could call the adult part. While our infantile part perceives duty as something binding and compulsory, on the contrary for the adult part, it can be joyful.”8
(dialog) – “The conscious part sends out some information and the unconscious somehow reacts to it and the course of the dialogue changes both sides. Just as man wants to become God, God desires to become man. Somewhere in between there is a connection, and the greater the distance is, the more the form of dialogue changes.”9
“In the case of different opinions or views it is more useful to focus where they meet, because how they differ is obvious. Where they meet is not so easy to see.”10
“Helpfulness pays off for people who see helpfulness as a power, as a manifestation of a decision. Unfortunately, there are those who do not understand helpfulness as a power at all, but they understand it as a manifestation of their own magic. Then, of course, there must occur a misunderstanding.”11
“We can’t agree with everyone, especially if the person decides to agree with us only under certain conditions. And those certain conditions are manipulative. You surrender and then we can make a deal, but it’s not a dialogue.”12
“When I throw my raw, unconscious content on someone, it means that I don’t tune to the other person at all. Basically, it’s ruthlessness, because I don’t care.”13
“There are two basic ways people can meet. Those ways intertwine. We can’t just manipulate or communicate all the time. These two modes cannot coexist. As Eckhart says – if my soul is present, then my ego will not fit there. The soul fills up and connects, ego empties. It’s similar with manipulation”14
“Communication is based on what unites us. Communication means connection. If I am connected, our path is open, so not only information flows, but some kind of energy. Some stream of consciousness, everything flows, even what I don’t like.”15
“That’s one of the reasons why we don’t communicate, because when we communicate, we always risk a change, always. If we communicate, we are open.”16
“If communication has occurred, that’s when connection occurs. Then it’s not really about me or the other person, but it’s about what’s happening between us. A professor Vyskočil was saying: “A substance is formed, the common substance. This is a meeting. That mutual weaving fabric. What arises is what transforms the individual actors.” Jung goes so far with saying: “the therapeutic effect does not lie in the therapist at all and, in fact, neither in the client, but rather in the honesty of their approach that in some way it touches the unconscious – the soul and the soul brings the medicine, not the therapist or the client.”17
“We reach for manipulation because we don’t want to change. We don’t want to risk any change. That is why we stop communicating and pretend communication.”18
“When a person is present, then speech makes sense.”19
“There is no open space in manipulation, there is no partnership. If I am a partner, then it means my value is the same as yours. It cannot be bigger or smaller. I will not allow it in myself. Either the space is open or it is not. The road is passable or not. Am I pushing the other one, myself? How is it in me? How do I talk to myself? Often the containers are connected. If I stop manipulating myself, no one else can manipulate me either. Of course, I must recognise when I’m manipulating myself.”20
“Above all, it is necessary to develop an intimate relationship to speech and to learn to consciously follow what is being said. Speech is a grandiose aid for understanding deeper and less visible contexts. Speech contains its own wisdom, but it is communicated only to those who learn to listen to it. However, our time has a tendency to treat speech carelessly and arbitrarily, and thus loses access to revealing the true meaning of terms. Because speech also contributes to polarity, it always has an ambivalent, ambiguous character.”21
“Most mental processes are made up of words, and these can also be replaced by other words.”22
“The words we pronounce habitually affect how we communicate with ourselves and therefore what we experience.”23
Don Juan Matus says: “Inner dialog is a guardian and it’s main purpose is to protect a description of a man, which he has created about himself. He feeds it with his own content – thoughts.” Here I see that Don Juan Matus talks about an inner dialogue related to the ego. The ego refuses to admit the spirit or the soul, since these concepts are extremely dangerous ideas for the ego. They are enemies that the ego denies so it can continue to rule in his own way.
Sadhguru says that if there is more than one voice in the head, then one is crazy. I wouldn’t say this in such a simplistic manner, because when I think about this message, I see it played out in practice another way. I would rather explain it as an inconsistency of personality, manifesting as neurosis. One voice says something against the other. The heart says: “I have to leave my job”. The mind says: “I can’t, I pay bills”. This is an internal contradiction that I would compare to the fool about which Sadhguru is talking.
I am convinced that internal dialogue is a mental conversation between spirit, soul and body. These are major parts of man, and the synthesis between this vast triangle is the psyche. If we reflect the psyche, in other words if we reflect what is happening within us, then we establish a dialogue with our inner universe. It reveals itself to us if we pay attention to it. Then we can begin to get to know and explore the universe and thus form a conscious dialogue with it.
The result is also getting to know the outside world, in which establishing relationships is actually easy, because I know how to approach myself. Then my approach to the enormous diversity of other people is more conscious, the more I know my own world.
Recognizing who is talking
All spiritual teachings say that life is self-knowledge. That may be clear, but how do I do it in practice? How do I get to know myself?
Then I realised that the whole work of Jung and Pjér, and probably all the spiritual teachings, are practical guides to knowing oneself. To know oneself, you need to recognize who is talking. Because what I’m not aware of has power over me. Then it is not dialogue, but pure manipulation, which is actually a plague affecting our civilization – a reality of how we are doing spiritually.
A woman who craves for wealth and material gain has no contact with her animus and might be fascinated by him. It evokes in her a desire for a nice car, house, etc. Fascination can turn into dependence on material things.
A man obsessed with anima has no contact with his other half and may be fascinated by women. He perceives them mainly as sexual objects and not as spiritual beings.
A person who has no contact with his inner child is annoyed and not creative. It is characterized by its rigidity and loss of spontaneity.
These are just examples and their variations are diverse and also as creative as soul. Some of these inner images are femininity, masculinity, and child – archetypes. These archetypes and instincts influence us, and our ego will be saying that we have decided our movements by ourselves. The manipulated action is caused by natural tendencies of archetypes and instincts to which we are not connected, because ego doesn’t like to give them their autonomy. It is therefore crucial to recognize who is speaking and why those “voices” are speaking, so that we can build a relationship with them and give them their necessary place. But this is very difficult if we pay no attention to our inner world. To realize that in us is the whole universe, and that it has its laws, and incredibly many structures – this is just a concept for many people. It’s so scary for us that we would rather stay on the surface. One thus remains in one’s small enclosure, which his own conviction calls life.
I can only conduct a dialogue with what I am aware of!
In any case, I can always be aware of my psyche, how I feel, and what I think. Here it is perhaps good to know that there are 4 functions of consciousness – thinking, feeling, sensing and intuition, of which we can always be aware. These four functions of consciousness can be considered a reflection of what is happening mentally in us. Working with these functions connects us with the deeper layers of the psyche, with those aforementioned archetypes. (Více zde: Struktura psyché) So the internal dialogue is not only thoughts that most people are quick to emphasize, but the heart also certainly speaks to us. Therefore, we cannot throw its message into the same bag as thoughts. Then there is the body, which also communicates and It also certainly cannot be considered the same as thoughts. Each of the structures speak to us in their own way. Some speak less, some speak louder, some are undeveloped, some infantile, some neglected, some speak out of necessity to be heard. With whom we constitute a dialogue, or whom we overlook, decides whether they are our internal teammates or, conversely, whether they play against us.
Our task is to balance these internal aspects and thus growth morally. Urgent messages from the inner world are a sign of the deviation of natural balancing, to which the spiritual path is synonymous. Then we become ourselves who we have always been.
At a certain level of consciousness, our inner images are destructive and tiring. On another level they are creative and empowering. Everyone occupies somewhere, and this occupancy depends on how we work with these inner pictures. The ego is a dictator, but at a higher level It can play the role of a teammate. In such a context, our inner world is not at the expense of this dictatorship, but is otherwise looking for inner peace and tranquility. A gentle heart gives space to everyone. It shows the boundaries and place of internal processes. In such a place there is controllable vigilance. These higher levels of consciousness correspond to the guidance of the heart. There is no longer dialogue which is destructive or loud. There is gentleness and quiet. The focus frees itself from the ego and its violence; ego, which likes to promote itself at all costs. Yet this Gentle heart, which could be representative of soul, does not want to teach, but to listen. Silence, therefore, is the best teacher. Traditional cultures know this. In Indian Yoga, Japanese Zen, and Chinese Taoism, achieving a state of “empty” mind is one of the main goals. Where is silence, there is divinity. It is when the inner dialogue is so quiet that a tree, a mountain, a sea can speak to us. Then it is not only the external object that speaks to us, but it is the unity that includes everything – the spirit.
Dialogue changes both sides. I change along with the rigidity of my inner world. This world is inclined to us and can do amazing things if we take care of it. Its gifts are in the form of creativity, meaning, well-being, peace, fulfillment and creation of life that the Self wants to live, and not the Ego. If I have those gifts, then I have an inner power that simply leads and transforms.
The follow-up and final practical part of this article is published separately here – Open dialog.
- Pjér la Šé’z – 1. Individual – 28.4.2017
- Pjér la Šé’z – 14. Individual – 8.3.2018
- Pjér la Šé’z – 18. Individual – 17.5.2018
- Pjér la Šéz – 38. Individual – 13.1.2020
- Pjér la Šé’z – lecture: Duchovní obrat aneb vnitřní slunovrat (youtube video – 1:25:00)
- Pjér la Šé’z – lecture: Sny a snění – 24.9.2014 – divadlo Dialog Plzeň (youtube video – 1:17:15)
- Pjér la Šé’z – lecture: Druhá polovina života – Individuační proces (youtube video – 15:05)
- Pjér la Šé’z – lecture: Vnitřní konflikt na duchovní cestě (audio), (youtube video – 1:01:58)
- Pjér la Šé’z – lecture: Vnitřní konflikt na duchovní cestě (audio), (youtube video – 1:06:50)
- Pjér la Šé’z – lecture: Vnitřní konflikt na duchovní cestě (audio), (youtube video – 1:11:50)
- Pjér la Šé’z – lecture: Manipulační triky v komunikaci (audio) (youtube video – 24:15)
- Pjér la Šé’z – lecture: Manipulační triky v komunikaci (audio) (youtube video – 27:50)
- Pjér la Šé’z – lecture: Manipulační triky v komunikaci (audio) (youtube video – 29:15)
- Pjér la Šé’z – lecture: Manipulační triky v komunikaci (audio) (youtube video – 30:10)
- Pjér la Šé’z – lecture: Manipulační triky v komunikaci (audio) (youtube video – 31:25)
- Pjér la Šé’z – lecture: Manipulační triky v komunikaci (audio) (youtube video – 1:31:50)
- Pjér la Šé’z – lecture: Manipulační triky v komunikaci (audio) (youtube video – 1:43:55)
- Thorwald Dethlefsen, Rüdiger Dahlke: Krankheit als Weg: Deutung und Be-Deutung der Krankheitsbilder. Str. 92 (czech version)
- Tony Robbins – Awaken the Giant Within. Str. 201 (english version)